Soul's Harbour
by ruji
Summary: [New chapter for Tezuka's birthday!] Fate catches Fuji off guard in an unexpected encounter. Knots are waiting to be tied, untied and retied. [Saeki-Fuji. Tezuka/Fuji.]
1. Soul's Harbour

Disclaimer: All the characters mentioned belong to Konomi Takeshi-sensei.

Note: This is sort of a revisit and sequel to two short songfics I wrote a decade ago. I've weaved in some background details into this one so that it can stand on its own, but if you absolutely have to know the details and would brave reading my cringeworthy writings of the past to find out, look for the same title on my LJ or AO3 (because FFnet won't allow links) and read at your own heart's risk.

This part was also inspired by a song - 徐佳瑩 LaLa【失落沙洲】(link also available on my post on LJ/AO3)

Apart from being inspired by this beautiful song, I also wrote this because I needed to reassure myself that I can write non-smutty things. =/ So here's Fuji being emo. Enjoy!

* * *

.

 **Soul's Harbour**

.

The door swung open with a familiar jingle of the bell. It was past their opening hours, and he was sure that he had put the 'Closed' sign on the door, but had left the door unlocked. He hurriedly deposited the dishes he had in his hands into the dishwasher and peeked out of the kitchen.

"Sorry, we're clo-"

"It's me, Syuusuke. Sorry I'm late," the lanky man muttered, plonking ungracefully on to one of the many wooden chairs.

He spared a glance at the figure slumped over in a chair in the middle of the dimly lit cafe, silver bangs casting a shadow to hide the usually sparkling sapphire eyes of the other. The empty tables and chairs surrounding him added on to the air of loneliness and dejection enveloping him, painting the perfect portrait of a heartbreak.

Wordlessly, Fuji prepared a pot of tea with apricot, apples and marigold, a blend that isn't on the menu but is his personal favourite.

"On the house," he said with a soft smile, quietly placing the glass teapot and an empty teacup in the middle of the table, then taking the seat opposite of the other. He managed to get a small smile out of the other.

"This is my cafe too, dork."

"Ah, please forgive me. I tend to get forgetful when business is brisk."

"Sorry. I know I said I'd come in by 2," the other man mumbled sheepishly, finally lifting his head to look at Fuji.

Fuji chuckled lightly as he reached over to pour the other a cup of tea, "Don't worry about it, we've had busier days."

"She just wouldn't stop crying. And to think she was the one dumping me! For a 46-year-old Michael Tomioka wannabe who bought her a Cartier necklace. What. The. Fuck."

"And you couldn't just leave her alone. Could've been crocodile tears, you know. You're too kind, Kojirou."

Saeki took a sip from the glass tea cup, and steeped in silence for a few minutes, then gulped the rest of the tea down, letting out a sigh.

"I think I've had enough of dating girls. They cry too much and want to breakup for the stupidest reasons."

Fuji almost felt sorry for his best friend. Saeki was hardworking, kind and attentive, not to mention incredibly good-looking, but he simply had the worst luck with women. His first girlfriend in high school had cheated on him with two other boys, the next one had asked him out because her friends dared her to. He couldn't remember the names nor the faces of the few who had broken up with Saeki because he was "too gentlemanly", or "too handsome", but the girlfriend he had two years ago before this materialistic Cartier girl came along had ended their relationship because she got jealous of Fuji.

"Are you considering celibacy?" Fuji asked with a teasing smile.

"Syuusuke. Would you take a chance on me?" Saeki asked instead, his voice soft but firm.

Fuji froze under the other man's open and earnest gaze. It wasn't the first time Saeki had asked him something like that. Saeki used to joke that Fuji would make the best wife because he was gentle and understanding, and they knew each other well and never fought, but ever since his previous girlfriend suggested that their friendship seemed more than platonic, the jokes started to develop into genuine questions and what-ifs.

"You just had a breakup, you're hardly in a state to ask anyone out. Besides, you like women, not men, Kojirou," he answered evenly, gathering his composure and putting on a casual smile.

"I don't know about other men, but I know I like you."

Fuji's eyes were hidden behind his smile as usual, but the telltale signs did not escape Saeki's keen eyes. He could see the faint crease on the honey-haired man's brow, the slight stiffening of his body, and the slender fingers that had unconsciously gripped on to the fabric of the dark blue apron across his lap.

"Kojirou… you know I love you, but-"

"-but as a friend and family. I know, I know. My heart's already broken and you just bulldozed over it. Some kind of buddy you are," Saeki interrupted with a smirk, reaching out to playfully mess up the impeccably silky shoulder-length honey-brown strands.

Fuji swatted away the offending hand and threw Saeki a glare, before a true smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"But seriously, Syuusuke. It's about time you moved on," Saeki said, his voice serious once again, "For real."

"We're talking about your breakup, not mine," Fuji replied with equal solemnity, losing his smile.

"How long has it been? Syuusuke, I can't even remember anymore."

"As I can no longer remember the number of girlfriends you've had, Kojirou."

Fuji never liked to talk about his one and only past relationship, but if there was anyone who could prod Fuji into coming bare about it and brave his silent wrath, it was Saeki. He refilled the empty teacup and pushed it across the table, offering it to Fuji in return. Fuji stared at the cup for a moment, and took a deep breath before taking it, carefully cradling the cup in both hands in his lap.

"...11 years. Too long, I know."

Saeki scoffed, shaking his head lightly. "I know first loves are hard to get over, but 11 years is ridiculous."

Fuji calmly drank from the teacup, choosing not to dignify that comment with a response.

"Is he even aware that you're waiting for him?"

"I'm not."

"Why are you doing this to yourself? If he hasn't come for you in the past 11 years, he's not coming back for you now."

"He doesn't have to," Fuji muttered placidly, eyes fixed on the door.

Finishing his drink and placing the empty glass on the table with a thud of finality, Fuji rose from his seat and untied his apron, draping it on the back of the chair.

"Sorry, do you mind closing up?" he asked in his usual gentle tone, though the seething gleam in his open cerulean eyes left no room for negotiation. Not saying another word, he left the cafe like a sudden passing breeze, leaving the bell on the door jingling in his wake.

.

* * *

'

Without realizing where he was headed for, Fuji found himself at the Chikura Harbour, which was a twenty-minute walk away from their cafe. Ever since he moved to Chiba to set up a cafe with Saeki, he often found himself in the embrace of the sea when he felt less than himself. He walked the short distance down to the beach and took off his shoes, letting his toes dig into the sand. It was late in Spring, the climate has gotten considerably warmer, but the chill of the sea breeze still seeped through the sweater he had on to tickle his skin. He slightly regretted leaving his cardigan at the cafe, but sat down in his favourite spot anyway.

Whoever said that everything heals with time was a liar. It has been 11 years, but the dull ache in his chest never once faded. Even now, when he closes his eyes, that handsome stoic face still appears vividly in his mind. The wind-tousled head of cinnamon hair, sharp line of his jaw, thin pursed lips, meticulously polished oval glasses perched on the bridge of his finely chiseled nose, and beneath them, those passionate, expressive amber eyes that never failed to pierce into the depths of his soul.

It was unlike him to run away from anything that stood in his way, but escaping to Chiba was a decision he didn't regret making. It had been a tough decision; to step out of his comfort zone and leave behind his education and budding career as a journalist in favour of running a quaint little cafe in a far corner of Chiba, but Tokyo held too many memories that suffocated him.

He had chosen to cut off all the things that bound them together. He moved away, changed his number, and slipped away from the people who were once his closest friends and teammates. But the blue skies still reminded him of the days they spent training and competing side by side. And when it rained he would remember that one conversation they had that meant so much more than the words they exchanged.

Every sunrise brought back memories of the first time they went away on a weekend hiking trip together as high school students, just the two of them. As they watched the sunrise in comfortable company, he had clumsily dropped a hint that he had feelings for the other. The bespectacled youth had kept his gaze on him for a few seconds longer than he normally would have, and though he hadn't offered a response right then, Fuji knew that the thoughts he had weaved into his words hadn't gone unnoticed.

Every sunset revived the feelings that filled him on their attempt to witness the grand sight of the Diamond Fuji. They had managed to get a clear view of the shining sun sinking beyond the apex of Mt. Fuji, but even the beauty of that couldn't rival the mesmerizing myriad of emotions he saw in those stunning amber eyes as the usually straight-faced young man answered to his affections with a smile so gentle, he almost forgot to breathe.

He knew at that moment, that he would be willing to give anything to make that smile blossom on the other's face. Eventually he did, giving away his heart and soul when the other man had left to pursue greater goals. The breakup hurt, but it didn't matter, because he knew that the man he had fallen in love with was a fighter who thrived on challenge, and as long as he was happy enough to show that smile, it didn't matter even if that smile wasn't for him.

He had let him go, and he wasn't expecting him to come back, but he wasn't expecting it to be so difficult to truly let go either. Fuji closed his eyes and hugged his knees to his chest, desperately holding in the surge of emotions threatening to overflow. At times like this, when his fingers have turned icy and the cold breeze washes over him, he would long for the other's familiar warmth, and be reminded of the last time he saw the man who now dwells in his memories and dreams.

He could still clearly recall the feel of the other man's strong arms around him, holding him for one last time, and the slight tremble of his warm lips when he kissed him goodbye. The other always spoke with actions more than with words, and as everything around them melted into a blur during those few moments, he felt the taller man's unsaid words of apology and pain that they had to part ways, and a silent but deafening declaration that he too had loved and been loved.

.

" _You are the most precious… I will always treasure you, Fuji Syusuuke."_

'

That had been all Fuji needed to know and all he needed to muster the strength to walk away.

11 years sounded like a long time to get over a breakup, but what Fuji had lost wasn't just a close friend and first love. He had lost the man who had awakened the dormant passion within him, the man who had given him the courage to surpass his limits, the man who had caught him when he fell, the man who had taught him to trust and to love. The man who had shaped his very existence.

"Tezuka… you didn't teach me how to fall out of love," Fuji mumbled to the winds of the night.

A small part of him was glad that Tezuka didn't come back. Tezuka would probably have been disappointed to see him in such a pathetic state; almost 30 and hiding in a quiet corner of Chiba, using his cafe business as an excuse to run away from the sights and sounds that triggered too many memories of them together.

.

* * *

'

"...-suke… Syuusuke!"

For a moment, he thought he heard Tezuka's deep, velvety baritone voice calling out to him. His chest tightened and his eyes flew open, his whole body freezing still for a second, before he broke out of his reverie. Tezuka had never called him by his given name. Reluctantly, he turned his head to see Saeki waving to him from the flight of stairs leading up to the harbour. He turned his gaze back to the dark waves washing on to the shore and took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts and emotions that had burst forth back into the void in his chest where they belonged, hidden. Rising to his feet, Fuji dusted himself off and strolled over to where his friend stood, waiting for him.

"I knew I'd find you here. You left your cardigan and your keys at the cafe," Saeki said with a small smile, handing Fuji his belongings.

Even with the lack of adequate lighting, Fuji could see the worry on Saeki's face.

"Kojirou… I'm sorry-"

 _For leaving abruptly. For making you worry. For not being able to love you in the way you want me to._

"-and thank you."

 _For worrying about me. For standing by me. For staying the same._

"I hope you have your wallet with you, cuz' you're buying me dinner," Saeki said with a grin, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning on his heels to start the short walk back to where he had parked his car.

Fuji chuckled as he pulled on his cardigan and followed in the other's footsteps.

"Fine. Pizza, right? I'll even buy you beer and ice cream."

Pizza was Saeki's way of nursing a broken heart, while ice cream was Fuji's choice of remedy.

"Oh gee thanks for reminding me. I nearly forgot about it for a moment, you know."

"That soon? That's record breaking."

Saeki glared at Fuji as he fished out his keys and unlocked the car, "Taking 11 years to get over someone is also record breaking in a way."

Fuji slid into the passenger seat and buckled up, then turned his head to throw Saeki a look, "I take my words back. You're buying ice cream."

"I'll buy you as many Shirokuma as you want, just don't put the blame on me if you get fat," Saeki teased, starting the drive home. He didn't need to ask; Fuji always stayed over on pizza night. "On second thought, maybe it isn't so bad that you've not gotten over Tezuka yet. This way I'll always have a heartbroken buddy whenever I go through a breakup."

"Jerk."

Saeki laughed. "You can get us both out of this situation by going out with me, you know."

"And who's going to binge with you on pizza night if _we_ break up?"

"Aww man, have some faith in us, Syuusuke. We're gonna live happily ever after!"

"I bet that's what you had in mind for each and every one of your girlfriends."

"Now you're being mean. I want extra cheese and bacon on my pizza."

Fuji chuckled and gazed out of the window, absently counting the street lamps as they zoomed by. At times, Fuji couldn't help but feel envious of the capacity of Saeki's heart. Despite the number of bad endings he had been through, he was always unreserved and genuine towards his next relationship. He couldn't deny that the possibility of a happily ever after ending wouldn't be out of reach if he dated Saeki. If only he was whole.

"Kojirou," Fuji said softly, tilting his head to glance at his best friend, "If we're both still single and unattached by the time we're 50, I'll take up your offer. If you still want me by then, that is."

Widened sapphire eyes turned to stare at Fuji for a second, before they turned back to the road. A soft smile stretched across Saeki's face, and then melted into a playful pout.

"You're making me wait for you for 21 years? Don't tell me you're intending to mope over Tezuka all that while."

"This has nothing to do with Tezuka," Fuji muttered, which wasn't exactly the truth, but not entirely a lie, "I'm giving you 21 years to find a good wife. The task of procreating a successor to our cafe is on your shoulders, buddy."

"What? And if I don't, I get to date you? At 50 years old? I don't wanna date an old dude!"

"Mind you, you're older than I am," Fuji argued, before breaking down into soft laughter as he tried to imagine them dating 20-something years later. Where do people in their fifties go to on dates anyway?

He wasn't sure if 21 years would be long enough for him to step out of Tezuka's shadow, the past 11 years had done nothing for him after all, but he was betting his chances on Saeki settling down by then. He could come to terms with himself spending the rest of his life in bitter loneliness, feelings unrequited, but he genuinely wished for Saeki's happiness, which he knew was not with him.

There were many things that Saeki wished and deserved to have but he couldn't give. But should the day that Saeki loses hope in finding true love ever come, he would be there to offer whatever happiness he could find in him. It may not be the perfect ending, but if two broken souls could find solace in each other, it would be a happy ending in its own right.

Saeki pulled into a parking slot in front of a convenience store so that they could stop to get ice cream and beer. As Fuji stepped out of the car, he looked up at the starry sky and made a silent wish that that day would never come.

.

end.

'

* * *

Michael Tomioka - A half-Japanese half-American actor/celebrity based in Japan. Apart from his work, he's also famous for his extravagant and amorous lifestyle, and is said to have a harem of 12 girlfriends which he refers to as "Michael Japan".

Diamond Fuji - The name given to the view of the setting sun meeting the summit of Mt. Fuji, a rare sight that only occurs about twice a year around the winter solstice in December.

Shirokuma - A type of frozen dessert that consists of shaved ice flavoured with condensed milk, topped with fruits and azuki red beans, commonly available in convenience stores/supermarkets in Japan. The word "shirokuma" also refers to white bear/polar bear.

 _Thanks for reading/reviewing! There'll be a happy ending, I promise!_


	2. Yuuta's Getting Married

Chapter Summary: Someone old, someone new, something borrowed, something blue. Fate catches Fuji unguarded in an unexpected encounter. Knots are waiting to be tied, untied and retied.

Notes: This takes place three months after Soul's Harbour. Sometime in June.

* * *

.

 **Yuuta's Getting Married**

'

"You look great, stop fiddling with your necktie," Fuji said with an amused smile, glancing towards his best friend from the corner of his eye.

They were at a five-star hotel located in the heart of Shinjuku, Tokyo. Although Fuji had spent most of his life thus far in Tokyo, he had only ever stepped into such luxurious hotels twice; the first was on an assignment when he had been working as a journalist, and now, for Yuuta's big day.

Everything was bright and glamorous, even the elevator buttons looked freshly polished. The staff were all-smiles and polite and spoke in precise volumes that could only be heard by the clients they were speaking to. Despite the dozens of people lingering around the spacious lobby; some checking in, some checking out, others simply sitting or standing around seemingly waiting for somebody else; all that could be heard was a quiet buzz of voices weaving among the soothing notes of Debussy's Clair de Lune playing in the background.

Fuji wasn't exactly accustomed to such environments, or the suit he was wearing, but Saeki looked obviously uneasy in formal wear. He had been peering into every reflective surface they came across since they stepped into the hotel, checking his hair and adjusting his tie, even now as they waited for the lift to arrive.

"I haven't worn a suit since I was 20, you know," Saeki muttered as he finally gave up on his tie. His sister had had a traditional Japanese ceremony when she got hitched two years ago, so their whole family had dressed in traditional kimono for the occasion then. Turning towards Fuji as he straightened his blazer, he couldn't resist the urge to lament, "Who wears white ties these days anyway, it looks so old-fashioned."

Fuji chuckled and shrugged his shoulders lightly, "It's the conventional getup. I'm the social outlaw here."

Saeki let out an exasperated sigh and slid his hands into his pockets, making a mental note to buy himself a decent suit sometime soon. The only suit he owned was the one he wore to his Coming of Age ceremony. He could still fit into it, but the quality and look of it was definitely not befitting of his age now, much less to be worn to a wedding held at a five-star hotel. He had borrowed his father's suit this time, and while the black suit itself looked smart, the traditional white tie and white pocket square didn't sit well with his fashion tastes.

Fuji, on the other hand, had chosen a sapphire blue bow tie to go with his suit, forgoing a handkerchief in his breast pocket and opting for a silver lapel pin in a swallow design instead. His pointed black leather shoes shinier than the marble flooring under their feet. His hair, which had long since grown past his shoulders, was gathered into a ponytail that looked stylishly laid-back yet pulled together, leaving his bangs and a few chin-length pieces of hair to frame his face.

"You could've cut the boy some slack on his wedding day, aniki," Saeki commented, knowing that Fuji had deliberately picked the most unconventional combination of accessories to make Yuuta twitch. He even had a long ribbon in a matching blue tied around his ponytail.

"Saa… at least I'm wearing a suit," Fuji's smile widened, pleased with his dressing. It had been a while since he last saw Yuuta. To say that he was excited to see his baby brother walk down the aisle would be an understatement, but even more so than that, he couldn't wait to see Yuuta's response to his fashion choice. He would probably let the lapel pin slide, but he'd probably roll his eyes at the bow tie, and complain about his hair, Fuji thought. Yuuta had been eyeing his hair as if it was turning into Medusa's since he decided to let it grow out a couple of years ago.

The lift arrived with a crisp ding, and the doors slid open with a silent swoosh a few seconds later. Fuji stepped into the empty lift and turned to face the panel of buttons on the right side, Saeki stepping in behind him. Two other people boarded after them, moving into the far opposite corner of the narrow space. Fuji pushed the button for the fourth floor.

"Sorry to trouble you, seventh floor, please," a man's voice said from behind them. Fuji's hand reflexively moved towards the panel, but froze midway as alarms went off in his head.

 _That voice…_

Noticing that Fuji hadn't responded, Saeki gave his friend a nudge, then reached over to hit the '7' button.

"Thank you," the same, deep voice said again.

Fuji's eyes snapped open, his breath caught in his throat. Perhaps his ears had played a trick on him the first time, but he wouldn't mistake that voice twice. Stiffly, he turned around to look at the man who had spoken.

The doors quietly closed behind Fuji and the lift started moving in a smooth motion.

.

* * *

'

Sensing a pair of eyes on him, the man lowered his gaze from the number display above the door to the man standing before the button panel.

"Fuji…?"

He hadn't recognized Fuji because of the suit and the long hair, but now that his gaze was locked on to the other's azure eyes, he didn't have a single trace of doubt.

"Tezuka. It's been a long time," Fuji said softly, trying to keep his voice even. His heart was thumping so wildly in his chest his eardrums were ringing.

Saeki turned to glance at Tezuka as well, then quickly shifted his gaze back to his best friend. Fuji was clearly shaken by the unexpected encounter; he hadn't even managed to put on his usual smile.

"It has indeed," the ex-Seigaku captain replied with a curt nod. "How have you been?"

"...good," Fuji muttered, his smile slipping into place. "What are you doing here?"

"Dinner. You?"

"Yuuta's getting married," the honey-haired man answered mechanically, his thoughts reeling as his eyes flittered back and forth between Tezuka and the Caucasian woman standing next to him.

Saeki had been silently observing her too. Tezuka had been living overseas for years, so it wasn't that surprising to see him with a foreign woman. She didn't seem to understand Japanese, as she had been looking at them curiously as the two ex-teammates conversed. She was tall and gorgeous. Not supermodel-gorgeous, but definitely the type who would make people steal a second glance on the streets.

She looked sophisticated and elegant dressed in a fitting boat-neck pencil dress that ended just below her knees, in a dark green colour that brought out her emerald eyes. Her feet were perfectly manicured and clad in black slingback heels. The ends of dark blonde hair that held a gentle wave in them hovered just above her shoulders, drawing attention to the slender collarbones peeking out from the top of her dress. She didn't seem to be wearing much makeup, just enough to accentuate her features, and a touch of gloss that added a subtle hint of sexiness.

Saeki wasn't exactly well-acquainted with Tezuka; most of what he knew about the man was from what Fuji had told him, so if he had to imagine Tezuka dating a woman, he would have imagined him dating someone like Fuji - beautiful and confident, graceful and smart, gentle yet strong. And that woman standing right next to Tezuka now seemed to fit the bill, at least where appearances were concerned. She did look a few years older than Tezuka though, but Saeki couldn't be sure since Caucasians tended to look more mature than Asians.

"Congratulations," Tezuka said, just as a sound went off to announce that they had arrived at the fourth floor.

"Thanks…" Fuji uttered, wanting to say more, but the words dying in his throat. There was so much he wanted to ask and wanted to say to Tezuka, he didn't know where to begin, or if it was even all right to begin. They were nothing more than acquaintances now, whatever they used to share was just a fragment of the past. He had been the one who cut off all the strings that connected them.

The lift doors slid open, and Saeki gave his friend a pat on the shoulder as he moved to alight first.

"It was good to see you again, Fuji."

Fuji drew in a deep breath and gathered himself, hiding his eyes behind a bright smile, "You too, Tezuka. Enjoy your evening."

He pivoted on his heels and stepped out of the lift, his gaze fixed on the floor until the doors had closed.

.

* * *

'

"Hey… are you okay?"

"Did I hold myself all right back there?" Fuji asked softly. It was only now that he noticed the pressure in his chest. It felt like someone was tugging on his veins and arteries and his heart was about to be ripped out.

"I could see that you were struggling, but that's because I've mastered the art of reading you," Saeki answered with a smirk, attempting to lighten the mood. "Common folks like them wouldn't have noticed a thing."

Fuji looked up at Saeki and smiled weakly, "Tezuka is not common folk. He knows me."

"A decade ago, maybe," Saeki said with a shrug of his shoulders. " Are you okay with that?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm okay."

"I meant, are you really okay with that? Just 'hi, good to see you, bye'?"

Fuji stared at Saeki for a moment, the many questions he had been dying to ask Tezuka running through his mind again. "Are you saying that I should go after him? Kojirou, he has someone now-"

"You don't know for sure," Saeki interrupted.

"What…?"

"He wasn't wearing a ring. I looked."

"...not everyone wears their wedding ring. And even if that wasn't his wife, I shouldn't be interrupting his date."

"Tezuka's the type who would wear his ring if he's married, don't you think?"

Saeki bit down on his lip to prevent himself from taking his words too far. He wasn't sure if he should go on. What if Tezuka was married? What if he wasn't? He didn't know which would hurt Fuji more. He wasn't sure which he would rather watch, Fuji breaking down, or Fuji pining for Tezuka for the rest of his life.

But he had a hunch that deep down, Fuji was hoping that he would give him one more push.

"Come on, Syuusuke. There's nothing wrong with wanting to catch up with an old friend. You're not going to ruin his date just by asking if he wants to grab a drink sometime."

Fuji peered up at his best friend, eyes wide with uncertainty.

"Go. Seventh floor. I'll wait for you here," Saeki said as he stretched his arm out to push the button for the lift.

.

* * *

'

Tezuka had his eyes on Fuji's back as the lift doors closed in. There was something off about Fuji, but he couldn't tell what. Something about Fuji had changed, not just his appearance, but that shouldn't be surprising since he hadn't seen or spoken to him in a long, long time.

"Was that a friend?"

Breaking out of his thoughts, Tezuka turned his head to look at his companion and nodded, answering in fluent English, "We attended the same junior high and high school."

"He looked happy to see you," the woman commented with a smile.

"Perhaps. He's always smiling though, it's hard to tell what he's thinking."

It was never easy to guess how the tensai's mind worked, but he had prided himself in his understanding of the eccentric youth that was Fuji. That thought brought back many memories, and as if a long forgotten habit had been awakened, Fuji's strange demeanour earlier on nagged at his thoughts like a mystery waiting to be unraveled, just like how it used to be.

He couldn't put a finger on the man who was with Fuji. He looked familiar, he was almost certain they had been acquainted, but he just couldn't remember his name. Not to mention, Fuji seemed to share a close relationship with that man. The fact that they were attending Fuji's brother's wedding together must mean something.

He had been under the impression that Fuji had moved on and was happy, that's why he had allowed Fuji to walk out of his life and himself out of Fuji's. But something was amiss. The smile that had been Fuji's lips was not genuine, that much he knew.

The lift came to a stop at the seventh floor, the opening of the doors cutting through his thoughts. Tezuka led the way to the teppanyaki restaurant where he had made a reservation for two, but stopped just outside the restaurant.

"There's something I needed to speak with Fuji about. Do you mind heading in first?"

"All right," she easily answered with casual grace.

"I'm sorry, I'll be right back," he reassured her, then spoke to the waiter to make sure that his foreign guest would be comfortable in his absence, before heading back to the lift lobby. He was glad that the lift was still on the seventh floor, and stepped in, hitting the '4' button without hesitation. He was never one to jump into things on impulse, not until he got involved with Fuji and his inexplicable whims. Apparently Fuji still had a hold on him after all these years.

Being alone in the lift made it easier to think, and Tezuka started to question his own actions. Why was he doing this? What was he going to say to Fuji? Did he even have the right to ask if Fuji was happy?

He had been the one to initiate their breakup when he decided to leave Japan, but he had tried to stay in contact as a friend, keeping the Japanese tradition of sending New Year cards every year. Fuji never replied, apart from the one time he wrote to thank him for the cards all those years, but also telling him to stop sending them because he was moving away from home.

There had been no return address on the envelope.

Maybe Fuji hasn't forgiven his decision after all these years. Maybe he was behaving oddly because he was with that man, and that man knew about their history. Or maybe Fuji just wasn't happy to see him at all. He suddenly recalled a conversation he had with Oishi some years ago...

 _"Oishi, is Fuji… doing well?"_

 _"Mm. He's like how he's been."_

 _"Does he hate me?"_

 _"Tezuka, why don't you ask him personally?"_

 _"…"_

 _"Eiji says, even if you tore his heart out and trampled on it, he would never bring himself to hate you."_

Maybe Eiji was wrong and Fuji hated him after all.

.

* * *

'

Fuji's hand trembled as he pushed the button to get to the seventh floor. He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt so nervous. He looked into the reflective wall of the lift to make sure he looked all right, only realizing then how ridiculous the whole situation was.

He felt like some lovestruck schoolgirl about to make a confession. Asking a friend out for coffee shouldn't be so nerve-wrecking, even if he had been hiding from said friend for the past 12 years.

Even if said friend was an ex-lover whom he still held strong feelings for.

It felt like barely a second had passed before the lift stopped and the doors smoothly pulled away. Taking a deep breath, Fuji stepped out on to the seventh floor and looked around, immediately faced with an obstacle. There were three restaurants on this floor, and no Tezuka in sight.

He stood in the middle of the lift lobby, his hands clenched into fists as he pondered his choices. He could try his luck and search for Tezuka, restaurant by restaurant, or he could simply walk away like he had done before. He was tempted to pick the latter and shrink back into the comfort zone he had built around himself over the years, where Tezuka existed only in his memories.

However, Saeki's voice echoed in his head, spurring him to muster the courage needed to take the step he had been refraining himself from taking all this while.

He hoped Tezuka had made a reservation, so that he could simply ask the staff to check their guest list, since he doubted any of the hotel's high-end restaurants would entertain a non-diner's request to search for someone who might not even be dining at their establishment. Putting on a graceful smile, Fuji walked up to the first restaurant in sight.

.

* * *

'

Tezuka looked up as a chime went off and the lift doors glided open. He was about to step out, when an elderly couple who were about to board the lift looked at him and asked if the lift was heading down. Tezuka looked up at the display and realized that he had been too caught up in his thoughts, he had failed to notice that the lift had stopped at the fifth floor. His brows furrowed slightly at his own carelessness. Politely answering the elderly couple's question, he then stepped aside to allow them to enter, holding the button to keep the doors open for them.

It didn't take long for the lift to descend to the fourth floor. The moment the doors slid apart, the lanky figure of the man who was with Fuji came into sight. Calmly alighting from the lift, Tezuka took a quick glance around in search of Fuji, before his gaze fell back on to the man.

"Might you be looking for Syuusuke?"

Hazel eyes widened slightly at the question. Syuusuke. So this man was on first-name basis with Fuji. He still couldn't remember where he had met this man before.

"Yes. Would you be able to tell me where he is?"

"He went upstairs to look for you. He'll come back soon, so you might wanna wait for him here."

Tezuka nodded, and uttered a word of thanks.

"I'm sorry, I can't seem to remember your name. I'm sure we've met before."

"Saeki Kojirou. Rokkaku-chuu vice-captain. That's when we met."

Things clicked into place and unlocked Tezuka's memories of his Seigaku days. Rokkaku. They had met at the nationals. If his memory served him right, Saeki was Fuji's childhood friend. That would explain the first-name basis… but something in the other man's eyes made Tezuka think that Saeki and Fuji weren't simply just friends.

"I remember now. Please forgive my rudeness, I'm not good with names."

"No worries," Saeki said with a small smile, "It's been a long time after all. I would have probably forgotten your name too, if not for Syuusuke."

The ex-Seigaku captain fell silent for a moment, his lips pursed.

Saeki's gaze drifted to Tezuka's fingers again, just to make sure. He could almost visualize the indescribable tension rippling through Tezuka's body, despite the man's efforts to compose himself. That tension, Tezuka's presence... Tezuka's reactions, albeit minimal, whenever he spoke of Fuji, they all pointed to the possibility that Tezuka came looking for Fuji for the same reasons Fuji went after Tezuka.

"Tezuka-san, it's probably out of line for me to say this, but... if that lady you were with is someone special to you, please, let Syuusuke know, even if he doesn't ask."

Tezuka looked at Saeki with a questioning glance, silently considering his options before asking in a controlled voice, "May I ask why?"

"Because Syuusuke…," Saeki began, but stopped short of spilling the truth. Knowing Fuji, all hell would be let loose if he told Tezuka that Fuji had been pining for him for the longest time. Not that Fuji would ever admit to it, though.

"He just needs to know. That's all I can say."

Tezuka rendered Saeki with a scrutinizing gaze, trying to unravel the reason behind those words. Why would Saeki ask such a thing of him? What position was Saeki in to be concerned over what he told Fuji or not?

"Are you and Fuji…," he asked cautiously.

A small grin fleeted past on Saeki's lips.

"Dating? I'd love to say yes, but no, unfortunately we're not."

.

* * *

'

Fuji didn't have any luck at the first restaurant, but he did have better luck on his second attempt, though the staff at the podium had informed him that Tezuka had stepped out for a moment. He contemplated on waiting for Tezuka to return, but a buzz in his pocket drew his attention away from his thoughts.

He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. Yumiko had texted him, asking for his whereabouts. He had less than 15 minutes till the wedding ceremony, and he wanted to convince (or coerce, if convincing didn't work) Yuuta into surrendering his last hug as a bachelor to his dearest aniki.

Tezuka was important to him, but not as much as Yuuta. Fuji borrowed a pen and paper from the restaurant staff and quickly scribbled a note to Tezuka, handing it to the staff to pass it on to Tezuka when he gets back.

 _Catch up? I'll be at my old place till tomorrow. - Fuji_

Assuming that Tezuka wanted to catch up as well, that would leave Tezuka with less than 20-hours to either call him at his parents' house, or show up on the doorstep. That was if Tezuka even remembered his old address and phone number. The odds weren't exactly in his favour. He could have left his current mobile phone number, but he had been safeguarding it for years, he wasn't about to give it up right now.

Leaving things in the hands of fate, Fuji hastened his pace to get back to the fourth floor, hoping that he could still catch Yuuta before the ceremony.

When he emerged from the lift, he was greeted with the sight of Tezuka and Saeki caught in some sort of conversation at the lift lobby. The prickly atmosphere that hung between the two men nearly made his blood freeze.

"Kojirou…?"

Saeki looked past Tezuka to see Fuji gingerly stepping towards them. Tezuka turned around at the sound of Fuji's voice.

"Ah good, you're back. Tezuka-san has been waiting for you."

Fuji was quick to plaster on his usual smiling facade this time, adrenaline now flooding his system as it hit him that Tezuka had left the restaurant to come looking for him.

"Syuusuke, I'll sign us in and wait for you by the reception desk," Saeki said with a smile, and briefly bowed to Tezuka as he excused himself.

Fuji watched Saeki for a moment, before shifting his attention to Tezuka. It was only now that he was clear-headed enough to take a proper look at Tezuka.

Tezuka hadn't changed much over the years. The most obvious difference was that he was now impeccably dressed in a dark grey suit that did way more justice to his tall slender figure than their gakuran uniforms did back then. He wore his hair a little bit shorter and neater now, but his signature windswept side parting was still a loyal part of his look. Signs of exhaustion were evident under his eyes, but other than that, he didn't look much older than the 18-year-old boy that lived in Fuji's memories.

Tezuka had always looked more mature than his actual age when he was a teen anyway. If their meeting hadn't been so unexpected, Fuji would have been amused by how Tezuka finally looked his age.

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's nothing."

Their eyes met, and everything but time seemed to come to a halt. Seconds ticked away, before the sound of the lift doors closing interrupted the moment and brought them back to the task at hand.

"I was wondering if you would like to go for a drink-"  
"Would you like to catch up over a meal or a drink-"

Russet and cerulean orbs widened at their overlapping of words, and another silent pause came between them, until Fuji dismissed the awkward silence with a soft chuckle.

"Yes, I would like to. Are you available tomorrow?" he asked, feeling a little less tense now.

"I'm on duty tomorrow. How about the day after?"

"I can't… I'm going back to Chiba tomorrow night."

"Tonight, then?" Tezuka suggested after some thought. It wasn't the most ideal option, but he had a feeling that he would be losing more than just a chance to catch up if he let Fuji slip away this time.

"Are you sure? The wedding dinner's probably going to end late, and you said you have to work tomorrow?"

"I don't have to report in till noon."

"The banquet would most likely end around 10. Then there's the after-party, but I think I can escape from that. I'll meet you at one of the bars upstairs? On the 45th floor."

Tezuka nodded, "I'll see you later then."

"Oh, um… I left a note for you. At the restaurant," Fuji said as Tezuka stepped past him to press the button for the lift. "Guess you won't be needing it now."

Fuji tilted his head to look at Tezuka, who gave him a nod in acknowledgement. Tezuka was right beside him now, at an even closer proximity than they had been in the enclosed lift earlier on. Being physically near to Tezuka never used to bother him, but this bit of closeness was not playing well with his sanity right now.

"Also, sorry to have kept your date waiting. See you later, Tezuka."

Fuji smiled and swiftly made his way towards the chapel before Tezuka could offer a response.

.

* * *

'

Saeki was where he said he'd be when Fuji entered the waiting hall, right next to the reception desk, with a champagne flute in hand, making small chat with the representatives at the desk… at which Fuji's eyebrow twitched. He should have seen this coming, but his mind was so preoccupied with his encounter with Tezuka, it completely slipped his mind. He really wasn't in the mood to act sociable in front of that person at this moment.

Thankfully, Saeki had noticed him and came over to him instead.

"How'd it go?"

"I'll tell you later. I want to catch Yuuta before the ceremony starts. Do you want to come along?"

"We'd have to hurry then. They've already begun ushering guests into the chapel," Saeki muttered as he downed the remaining contents of his glass and handed the empty champagne flute to a passing waiter.

Fuji nodded and smoothly meandered through the room full of strangers to get to the green room at the far end of the hall, Saeki trailing closely behind him. Yumiko had texted him the directions.

He quietly knocked on the door twice, and the door swung open almost instantaneously.

"Syusuke, what took you so long!" Yumiko softly chided as she held the door open so that the two young men could enter, her other hand arched behind to support her lower back.

Fuji smiled sheepishly at his sister and leaned forward to give her a hug, careful not to bump into her pregnant belly.

"It's just you and Yuuta?" Fuji asked as he gently placed his hands on Yumiko's belly in a gesture of greeting the little one inside.

"Mum and Dad are out there talking to the guests. You ought to be there too, you know."

"But Yuuta doesn't like me talking to his friends… right, Yuuta?" He teased, tilting his head to glance over at the groom who was by the dresser, struggling with his cufflinks.

Yuuta looked up with an exasperated sigh, "It's a pain when they get attracted to you and I have to explain that you're my brother, not sister," he lamented as he gave up on his cufflinks and walked over to his siblings to get help.

"Is that why none of them have ever asked me out?" Fuji asked with a look of mock surprise on his face as he pulled Yuuta's arm closer and took the cufflinks from him.

Yuuta couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes. "Aniki would you please cut your hair already? How do you tolerate being around that mane all the time, Sae-san."

Saeki shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not taking sides, but some of our regular customers would probably disappointed if Syuusuke cut his hair. It's kinda become part of his image, to be honest."

"Speaking of friends, I certainly thought you'd pick someone more… pleasant, to man the reception desk."

"Mizuki-san's perfect for that position. We went to the same school, we work in the same company, he knows most of the people I've invited."

"If you say so." Fuji mumbled as he made quick work with Yuuta's cuffs, then proceeded to straighten his tie.

Yuuta raised an eyebrow at his brother's reaction. His prodigious brother always had some witty comeback, especially where Mizuki was concerned. He hadn't expected Syuusuke to give up his case so easily. He turned his head to shoot Saeki a questioning glance, mouthing to the older man, _"What's wrong with him?!"_

"All done. Now, a hug for good luck." Fuji announced with a wide smile and opened his arms.

Yuuta stared at his brother for a moment, a look of bewilderment on his face. "I don't need luck to get married, Aniki," he argued, but stepped forward to receive the hug anyway. "And why the hell are you wearing a bowtie? You look like you work at some butler cafe."

Fuji only chuckled as he tightened his arms around Yuuta and gave him a good pat on the back. Once Fuji was satisfied, Saeki stepped closer and offered Yuuta a congratulatory handshake, which Yuuta gladly took.

A moment later, the wedding concierge came to usher them into the chapel for the ceremony as all the guests have been seated. Fuji lent Yumiko a hand and carefully led the way. Yuuta waited till his siblings were a small distance away, before sidling up to Saeki.

"I know he's always odd, but he's being extra odd today. Tell me I'm not the only one sensing it."

Saeki had to stifle a laugh, not wanting Fuji to catch on to their little conversation.

"We ran into Tezuka in the lift."

"Tezuka?! That explains a lot. And…?"

"They had a short chat. I think they probably made plans, but Syuusuke has yet to tell me."

"If he's telling anyone, it's you, Sae-san. He never talks to us about such stuff."

"I'll let you know if anything drastic happens," Saeki said with a nod and a reassuring pat on the younger man's shoulder, despite the grin stretching across his lips, "You shouldn't be worried about that right now, just focus on how _not_ to screw up your vows."

"Sae-san! Not you too!" Yuuta grumbled, his palms getting sweaty now that Saeki had planted that thought in his head. "One devious elder brother is enough trouble, I don't need another one."

"Don't worry, you got a good luck hug from Syuusuke, you'll do fine."

The silver-haired man flashed a cheeky smile and waved as he left Yuuta's side to take his seat a row behind the Fuji family.

.

* * *

'

The ceremony went without a hitch, much to Yuuta's relief. As the guests were adjourning to the banquet hall on the 42nd floor, Saeki caught his friend by the elbow, pulling him closer so that he could speak more discreetly.

"So…?"

Fuji looked up at the taller man, a smile warming up his face. "We've made plans to meet after dinner."

"What about the after-party?"

"I'll show up for a few minutes, propose a few toasts to make everyone drink, then slip away while they're tipsy," Fuji said with a playful grin.

When he didn't get a response from Saeki, he looked up again to find the other staring at him.

"Is there something on my face?"

Saeki broke out of his daze with an awkward laugh, shoving his hands into his pockets as he shifted his gaze away from Fuji's face.

"Yeah. A beautiful smile. It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that."

The honey-haired man paused for a second, before regaining his pace and falling in step with Saeki, a smile still playing on his lips.

"Well, it's not every day that I get to see my brother walk down the aisle."

"Are you going to tell said brother about the plans you have for tonight?"

"...I guess I do owe him the courtesy of letting him know that I won't be staying for the party."

"He'll be happy to hear it from you."

"I'm sorry for bailing out on you too, Kojirou. But you'll be still staying over, right?"

Saeki nodded. "Unless… you're intending on inviting Tezuka over. In which case I hope you'll do me the courtesy and give me a heads up. I think I'll be scarred for life if I walked in on you and Tezuka having sex."

"Kojirou!" Fuji exclaimed in a hushed voice, a blush creeping into his cheeks.

Saeki tilted his head to glance at Fuji, who was staring at him with an incredulous look on his delicately tinted face. He had been friends with Fuji for as long as he could remember, but this was one expression he had never seen before. He couldn't suppress the laughter that bubbled up his throat.

"Stop laughing," Fuji muttered, jabbing his friend in the side with his elbow. "First of all, I'm not inviting Tezuka home. Second, we're adults now, not teenagers without enough pocket money to pay for a room elsewhere. Third, we're just going to have a chat, that's all."

"You're not going to go weak in the knees in even if he seduced you?" Saeki teased, throwing Fuji a knowing wink.

Azure eyes narrowed into slits, and the corners of Fuji's lips rose into a smirk as he leaned closer to whisper into Saeki's ear.

"Tezuka, seducing? The sexiest thing he's ever said was, 'Fuji, fifty laps for planting indecent images of you in my mind', before pushing me up against the lockers. After which we actually ran fifty laps, he was serious about it."

Saeki's eyes widened as it took no effort for the scene to form in his head.

"Whoh w-wait… I didn't need to know that. Damn you, Syuusuke. Now I'll never be able to look at Tezuka without imagining him saying that."

Fuji chuckled gleefully. Revenge was sweet.

"Just so you know, we've never done it in my room, so your worries are unfounded. Today won't be an exception."

Saeki pulled his hands out of his pockets to cover his ears in a fluster, "Okay, okay, you win. Stop. I don't want more fun facts about your sexy adventures with Tezuka regardless if they're in or out of the bedroom."

.

* * *

'

When Fuji told Yuuta that he couldn't stay for the after party, the younger man didn't ask for a reason. Instead, he stiffly put his arms around his brother in a hug.

"For good luck," he reasoned, trying to fight off a blush.

Fuji's lips parted in surprise, unable to find any words. Yuuta taking the initiative to hug him was just about as rare as a solar eclipse.

"Thanks, I could really use some good luck tonight," Fuji softly said with a smile.

.

tbc...

'

* * *

Thanks for reading/reviewing! The final chapter will be entirely Tezuka/Fuji centric :3


	3. Fate's Lighthouse

.

 **Fate's Lighthouse**

'

A finger on the rim of his glass, Fuji absentmindedly traced the rounded edge as he stared out of the large window that overlooked the city lights of Shinjuku. He hadn't expected that Tezuka would arrive later than him, but he welcomed the wait. It allowed him to sort out his thoughts, and gave time for his body to break down the alcohol he had taken as a result of saving Yuuta from his friends' drinking games earlier on.

Tezuka walked into the bar 13 minutes later, he could see the tall silhouette of the bespectacled man in the reflection of the glass. Swirling around in his chair, he made a small wave of his hand, though Tezuka appeared to have already noticed him before that and was making his way over.

Fuji watched as Tezuka walked around the bar counter to get to where he was seated by the window, and decided that he liked seeing Tezuka in a pressed suit.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting. I had to send my friend back to her hotel," the ex-captain explained as he took the seat opposite of Fuji.

"You look good in a suit," Fuji commented with a smile, reaching for the drink menu and sliding it across the small table. The words had slipped from his lips before his brain registered Tezuka's reason for arriving late.

Tezuka seemed to have some difficulty processing the unexpected compliment.

"Fuji, are you drunk?"

"Is my face still red?"

"A little," Tezuka answered, schooling away the thought of reaching over to feel the other's warm, flushed cheeks. It then struck him that this was the first time he had seen a drunken Fuji; they hadn't been old enough to drink when they were involved. "How many drinks have you had?"

"Mmm… about 5 beers, 2 glasses of wine and 2 glasses of champagne, I think?" Fuji muttered as he counted with his fingers.

"And you're still drinking that?" Tezuka asked with a stern glare at the half-empty glass of Gin and Tonic before Fuji.

Fuji chuckled, "I'm still clear-headed, _buchou_. Don't baby me."

Tezuka raised an eyebrow at the way Fuji addressed him. It made it harder to deduce if Fuji was truly sober or in a drunken stupor and denying it. When the waiter came around to take his order, he ordered an orange juice for himself and an apple juice for Fuji.

"This is the first time we're having drinks together and you're having juice?"

"I drove."

Fuji took a sip from his glass to divert his gaze away from Tezuka's face. Of course. Didn't Tezuka just mention sending his friend home? A smile slipped into place on Fuji's face.

"Did you have trouble finding me?"

There were three bars on this floor, Aurora Lounge, Pole Star and Little Bear. The first had been reserved for Fuji Yuuta's after-party. Looking at the names of the establishments, Tezuka didn't take a second before he was walking into Little Bear. Seeing Fuji by the window had somehow given him a small sense of satisfaction and relief. Fuji was still the Fuji he knew.

"Not at all."

Fuji's smile widened a little, and Tezuka felt his heart skip. This smile was real, he could tell. He could still tell.

A span of silence fell between them, even after the waiter came and left, leaving their beverages on the table. Tezuka placed the tall glass of apple juice in front of Fuji and moved his alcoholic drink aside.

"Are you my mother?" Fuji asked with amusement in his voice as he watched Tezuka fuss over his choice of drink.

"No, but I'm a doctor, and I care for your health."

"So it's Tezuka- _sensei_." Fuji perked up a little at the new Tezuka Fact. "I always thought you'd go pro. Was it your shoulder?"

Tezuka nodded. Fuji noticed the tinge of regret ghosting over his handsome face. "I had intended to, but the intensive training and continuous tournaments required for me to climb the ranks aggravated my old injuries faster than they could recover."

Fuji stared at Tezuka's shoulder, longing to reach over to soothe and massage it, like he used to in the past. "Can you still play?"

Another curt nod. "I stopped pursuing tennis as a career before it went beyond repair. Do you still play?"

"Kojirou and his old teammates meet up to play once a month, they let me crash in. I guess I belong to Team Rokkaku now," Fuji joked with a soft laugh.

The ex-Seigaku captain felt a strange sensation in his chest, but he wasn't sure if it was the mention of _Kojirou_ , or Fuji saying that he _belonged_ to Rokkaku that caused it. At that moment, he felt like telling Fuji that he belongs to Seigaku, with him, but he knows that he is no longer synonymous with Seigaku, and he was the one who had given up what he had with Fuji.

He took a sip of juice to push that bitter taste in his mouth down his throat, refusing to acknowledge the horribly childish thought.

"It wasn't a date," he stated abruptly, not knowing what better to say, or when better to broach the topic.

Fuji looked up at Tezuka, his head tilted slightly in question and his smile faltering a little.

"Dr. Hailey Pearce. She is one of the top gynaecologists in London, and my mentor when I was an intern. She's here for work, so we met up for dinner. I'm not seeing anyone."

Fuji stared at Tezuka for a moment, many thoughts running through his mind, but mostly _Tezuka's not seeing anyone_. He looked into the other's deep, honest hazel eyes and felt his heart clench. Tezuka wasn't lying, he never lied. But Tezuka never used to bothered about what others thought of him either.

"Kojirou said something to you, didn't he? Sorry about him," Fuji muttered sheepishly, making a mental note to corner Saeki for the details when he got home. "Wait… did you just say you're a gynaecologist?"

Tezuka reached into the inner pocket of his blazer and took out a black leather card holder, pulling out a name card and presenting it to Fuji. Taking the card in both hands, Fuji examined the card as if it was an exquisite piece of art, caressing the name printed on it with his gaze.

 _Tezuka Kunimitsu, M.D., Ph.D.  
Obstetrics and Gynaecology_

"I never knew doctors carried name cards," he said with a soft chuckle.

"I usually only get to use them when meeting other doctors at seminars and meetings."

Reaching for his wallet, Fuji carefully put the card away, before taking out another card and handing it to Tezuka.

"It doesn't have my name on it, but I run a small cafe in Chiba now, with Kojirou."

"I know."

Tezuka ran a fingertip across the card. It had dark blue glossy fonts embossed on a textured light sand coloured card; it looked simple but with a rustic charm, unlike his sterile white hospital business cards.

"You knew?"

"I found out from Inui. I've actually been there once, to see you, but I didn't go in," the bespectacled man explained, recalling the trip he made to Chiba two years ago.

"No… you… I don't… why didn't you come in?" Fuji stuttered, bewildered. He couldn't count the number of times he had mistaken the silhouette of a pedestrian across the street for Tezuka. And to think that it really had been Tezuka at least once… he felt his chest tighten and his blood burn.

"I saw you with a woman, both of you looked close and happy… I thought it wasn't a good time."

Fuji fell silent, his head hung low and his brows furrowed in deep thought. Tezuka wrapped his fingers tightly around his glass, wishing he had the conversation skills to change the topic this instant. Fuji's abandoned glass of Gin and Tonic seemed very appealing out of a sudden.

After a pregnant pause, Fuji's head snapped up in realisation, and his shoulders started shaking in laughter.

"...Fuji?"

Taking a deep breath, Fuji straightened himself and looked at Tezuka, cerulean eyes gleaming with mirth.

"That woman you saw was probably Kojirou's elder sister. She does indeed hug and kiss me a lot. But she does that to Kojirou all the time too. She got married last year and just gave birth to a baby girl two months ago, Tezuka-sensei."

Tezuka felt a wave of embarrassment, consolation, and desire wash over him all at the same time. So Fuji wasn't married and wasn't attached to that Saeki guy. His lips unconsciously curved into a small smile.

"It's unlike you to jump to conclusions," Fuji commented, though he realised that he too had almost made the same mistake by assuming that Tezuka was attached to Hailey Pearce. He had to thank Saeki, but that would come after he grilled him about the conversation he had with Tezuka.

"My bad," Tezuka admitted, stealing another glance at the Gin and Tonic, but taking a drink from his glass of orange juice. Fuji stirred his apple juice with the straw and took a sip too. The smile on his face was getting warmer and truer, Tezuka noticed.

"Now that misunderstandings are out of the way… why obstetrics and gynecology? You becoming a doctor is not all that surprising, but I never imagined you having anything to do with babies... Echizen being the exception."

"In my sophomore year, I witnessed a group of activists protesting against homosexuality, saying that it's against the laws of nature, against god's will. That god created male and female so that they could procreate. It gave me a lot to think…"

Fuji quietly sipped on his juice, placing every ounce of attention on Tezuka, taking in every minute expression on his face and in his voice, feeling the weight of his words. He had a feeling that this was a subject that Tezuka kept close to his heart.

"...it occurred to me that I would likely not marry and have children of my own, so I decided I would do what I could to make every birth count."

When Tezuka finished talking and looked to the other, he was faced with the soft, almost loving gaze of dazzling blue eyes that made him momentarily forget the need to breathe.

"You're a good man, Tezuka. It would be a pity if no one inherits your genes," Fuji muttered softly.

Tezuka thought Fuji sounded somewhat wistful.

.

* * *

'

It started raining at slightly past midnight, raindrops pelting against the glass window beside them distracting the both of them for a while. It felt like they had talked more in the past hour than they hadn't in the past 11 years. They talked about London, work, tennis and old teammates, anything but relationships, carefully treading around the subject in unspoken agreement.

As the city lights dimmed into a wet bokeh, they indulged in a few moments of comfortable silence, watching the oddly therapeutic sight of raindrops splattering and dripping down the glass.

Fuji stole a glance at Tezuka, and was surprised to find warm russet eyes staring back at him.

"Should we leave? You have to work tomorrow, don't you?" Fuji asked, looking down at his watch in attempt to hide a rising blush.

"How are you getting home?" Tezuka asked in return as he took out his wallet and slid Fuji's business card into one of the empty slots. In that moment, Fuji caught a glimpse of the note he had left Tezuka earlier that night, sticking out uncharacteristically from the neat column of cards.

"I… I'll just catch a taxi," Fuji mumbled absently as he pulled out his wallet to pay for his share of the drinks, but was stopped by Tezuka who insisted that he'd pay.

"You can get the bill the next time," Tezuka reasoned despite the fact that they hadn't spoken a word about a next time. "Let me send you home, it's hard to get a taxi when it rains."

Fuji was about to refuse the offer, but Tezuka had already started on his way out.

.

* * *

'

Being in the passenger seat of Tezuka's car was an entirely different experience from riding in Saeki's car.

Saeki loved to chat while driving, often making comments and jokes about other drivers and pedestrians they'd come across. Sometimes he'd sing along to whatever he had on his audio system, which mostly comprised of Japanese songs by Shonannokaze, L'Arc-en-Ciel and Amuro Namie. His dashboard was lined with a rainbow of Bearbrick figurines, and he almost always had a beverage in the cup holder.

Tezuka, on the other hand, was completely silent behind the wheel, as Fuji had expected. His dashboard was spotless, save for a neatly folded microfibre cloth sitting at the end nearer to the driver's seat, which he probably used to keep the dashboard so impeccably clean. The only accessory he had was an air freshener clipped to the air conditioning vent. To Fuji's surprise, Tezuka played English pop music on his stereo.

"I remember you as a classical music kind of person," Fuji casually commented when the vehicle slowed to a halt at a traffic junction, recalling the small collection of classical music albums Tezuka had on a shelf in his room many years ago.

"My colleagues gave it to me before I left London. It keeps me in touch with the English language," Tezuka explained, taking a quick glance at Fuji before turning his eyes back on the road, the faintest of a smile tugging on his lips. "I do have classical on the system, would you prefer that?"

"No, this is nice."

It felt like he was discovering a new side of Tezuka, and that brought a smile to Fuji's face.

They remained wordless for the most of the journey, until a particular song caught Fuji's fancy with its laid back yet catchy melody and the vocalist's coquettishly charming voice. He turned to look at Tezuka, asking for the title of the song just as they turned into the street the Fuji residence was on.

Tezuka visibly stiffened.

"Kiss Me..." he muttered as he pulled to a stop in front of Fuji's lot. He looked over to the man in the passenger seat, locking gazes with widened azure eyes. His eyes wandered to Fuji's lips, lingering for a moment too long. Fuji had simply frozen under Tezuka's fervent gaze.

"...by a band called Sixpence None the Richer," he quickly added when Fuji offered no response. Suddenly it felt like the temperature in the vehicle had risen by a few degrees. It was still raining, albeit less heavily, but Tezuka had never been more thankful that he had a reason to get out of his own car.

Instructing Fuji to wait in the vehicle, Tezuka stepped out and went around to retrieve an umbrella from the rear storage, opening it before walking to the passenger's door. Fuji wasn't smiling when he emerged from the car. A gust of wind blew past and Tezuka watched the way Fuji's long silken strands danced, all the while thinking of how much he wanted to run his fingers through that hair and kiss Fuji right there and then.

"You didn't have to. I may have long hair, but I'm not some damsel in distress," Fuji said teasingly with a small smile as they walked up to the house.

"You're far more precious than that," Tezuka honestly replied, almost inaudibly. If he sensed Fuji looking up at him, he pretended not to notice, keeping his line of sight straight ahead.

Fuji walked up the steps to the porch while Tezuka stayed on the footpath. Spinning around, Fuji smiled and held out a hand in gesture of a friendly handshake, "Thanks for the night, and for driving me home. It was nice catching up."

"It was nice talking to you," Tezuka agreed, taking Fuji's hand in a firm handshake, though he knew full well that neither of them had actually spoken about the things they really wanted to say or ask. "Would it be alright if I visited your cafe some time?"

Fuji nodded as he reluctantly let go of Tezuka's hand, bidding his friend a good night.

He stared at Tezuka's back as it got further and thought about the time their positions had been the other way around. His heart was pounding so hard it hurt. Did Tezuka feel the same when he watched him walk away? His hands clenched into fists; he could still feel the warmth of Tezuka's hand lingering in his palm. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Tezuka!"

Hearing his name, Tezuka turned and hesitantly took a step back up the path, his eyes fixed on Fuji. Even from a distance he could tell that Fuji was tense. He felt an overwhelming urge to move closer, to hold Fuji, soothe him and tell him that everything will be okay.

"If you want what I want…" Fuji started, struggling to find the right words, but Tezuka had already dropped his umbrella and was striding towards him. Fuji could do nothing more than gape in helpless awe. Illuminated by the moonlight, braving the rain, Tezuka was the most breathtaking thing he had ever seen. Like a greek god descending to Earth.

Fuji's feet moved on their own, meeting Tezuka on the steps. And in the next moment, that breathtaking thing had his lips on his own. He closed his eyes and leaned in as if it was the most natural thing to do.

He didn't know how long it lasted, but when Fuji opened his eyes, Tezuka's hands were on his face, and his intense gaze was piercing into his soul. Noticing that Tezuka's back was still getting drenched by the rain, Fuji pulled Tezuka up the steps, and Tezuka took the opportunity to back Fuji up against the door, pressing their lips together again.

Tears escaped from the corners of Fuji's eyes as his long kept emotions overflowed. Breaking the kiss, Tezuka looked at Fuji with a tender gaze and gently wiped away the streams staining Fuji's fair face with his thumbs. His heart ached at the sight of Fuji's tears.

"Fuji… I want us to be together. I want to hold you, kiss you. I want to call you Syuusuke and you to call me Kunimitsu. Is that what you want too?" Tezuka asked in a whisper, resting his forehead against Fuji's, closing his eyes tightly and hoping that he hadn't just ruined whatever was left of their friendship.

"Yes…" Fuji answered in a shaky voice, his hands clutching on to Tezuka's damp jacket.

"But…?" Tezuka asked softly, pulling back slightly, scrutinizing Fuji's face for clues. He could sense that Fuji had his reservations.

Fuji gazed up at Tezuka longingly, his right hand moving to touch Tezuka's face, as if checking if he was real, wiping away the raindrops that wet his skin. "I'm scared… I don't think I can handle losing you a second time," he confessed ruefully, another crystalline droplet falling down his cheek.

Tezuka wrapped his arms tightly around the slighter man, pulling him into a strong embrace. "There won't be a second time, unless you decide so. I'm not going anywhere this time."

Fuji snaked his arms around Tezuka, leaning his head against Tezuka's chest, but remaining silent. He could hear Tezuka's heartbeat thumping just as quickly as his own, and feel the warmth radiating from under his shirt, smell his familiar scent. Being in Tezuka's arms like this felt so comforting and so natural, he was mortified by how quickly the wall that he had so carefully built and kept around himself for so long was crumbling to dust in a single night.

"Take as long as you need. I'll wait, until you feel that it's safe to entrust your heart to me again."

Fuji was quiet for a long while, but Tezuka simply held him close, rubbing slow soothing circles on his back. He could feel Fuji's breathing calming down and his body gradually relaxing into the embrace.

"Kunimitsu," Fuji finally whispered when the whirlwind of emotions within him had settled down. He could feel his cheeks heat up as the name rolled off his tongue. He hated to admit it, but he had been longing for this day for the longest time.

Tezuka felt a jolt shoot down his spine at the sound of his given name leaving Fuji's lips. He loosened his hold on Fuji slightly, just sufficiently so that he could look at Fuji in the eyes.

"Say it again." Tezuka stared at Fuji in anticipation, like he had just said the most incredulous thing ever.

Fuji couldn't help but chuckle. Tezuka's expression had hardly changed, but he had this sparkle in his eyes that was utterly adorable. Fuji took a deep breath and cupped Tezuka's face with both hands, holding his gaze as he said softly but surely, "I'll need a bit of time to find my bearings, but I want you to hold me and kiss me. I want to hold you and kiss you back. I want us to be together, Kunimitsu."

"Syuusuke."

Fuji smiled, and when Tezuka mirrored him with the same gentle smile he showed him 13 years ago, he felt a warm fuzz spread through his entire body, making his heart race and his skin tingle.

" _Kiss me_ ," he breathed, gazing into Tezuka's eyes and slinging his arms around Tezuka's neck for leverage. Tezuka gladly complied, covering Fuji's lips with his own, then lightly sucking on Fuji's lower lip, nibbling, until Fuji parted his lips and allowed him to deepen the kiss.

The next couple of minutes passed in a passionate blur of mingling breaths, frolicking tongues and needy kisses. Tezuka had one hand around Fuji's waist and another behind Fuji's back, pressing their bodies together. Fuji's fingers had found their way into Tezuka's hair pulling him down almost roughly as their mouths slid to fit, only letting go when the need for air became urgent. They hadn't seen each other for over a decade, hadn't even spoken a word until a mere few hours ago, but at that moment all the missing pieces seemed to fall into place. Everything felt right and nothing else mattered.

Fuji smiled giddily as Tezuka continued to lean in to peck at his lips even while they were trying to catch their breaths. Having completely forgotten that they were still on Fuji's front porch, they both jumped in their skins when a motorcycle zoomed past the lot.

"It's late. You need your rest," Fuji gently reminded, caressing Tezuka's cheek lovingly.

Tezuka took Fuji's hand in his and dropped a quick kiss on the slender fingers. "There's one more thing I want from you."

"Is it sex?" Fuji asked teasingly, grinning.

"Of course not. No, I mean… yes, that would be very nice, but that's not important now," Tezuka fought to get his thoughts straight, shooting Fuji a glare.

The honey-haired man barely managed to bite back a chuckle. "Ah, but you _do_ want sex."

"Fuji," Tezuka said in a more serious tone.

"Wasn't it Syuusuke?"

Tezuka's brows furrowed and he let out a small sigh. Fuji may have grown up but his mischievous streak was still intact.

"I'm sorry. What did you want?" Fuji asked, tilting his head to press a small kiss to Tezuka's lips in apology.

"I want your phone number. Not this house's or your cafe's. Yours. I don't know how you managed to keep it even from Inui."

"Umm… this might sound like an excuse, but I don't remember my own number. The only people who have my number are my family and Kojirou and his family. I don't use my phone for calling much."

"Lend me your phone."

"The battery's dead. I took too many pictures and videos at Yuuta's wedding," Fuji explained with a sheepish smile, fishing out his phone to show that he wasn't lying.

"You're impossible."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Fuji beamed. He gave Tezuka's hand a gentle squeeze, "Your number's on your card, right? I promise I'll text you once I manage to resuscitate my phone."

Tezuka trusted Fuji, but a small part of him felt insecure without any means of contacting Fuji, especially since Fuji didn't live anywhere near him now. "And if you don't?"

"If I don't… Francesca will die a horrible death."

"Francesca?" Tezuka found the name familiar, and he remembered soon enough. "The cactus? You still have it?"

"Mmhmm." Fuji nodded, looking pleased, "I'd show you pictures, but my phone's concussed."

Francesca was a rainbow pincushion cactus that Tezuka had given to Fuji on his 18th birthday. Tezuka was aware that cacti required very little effort to care for, but he certainly hadn't expected Fuji to still be caring for it after all this time.

Through his years of friendship with Fuji, Tezuka had come to understand that there were two things Fuji Syuusuke never joked about: his brother and his cacti.

"All right. I'll be waiting for your text then."

Reluctantly letting go of Fuji, Tezuka placed a kiss on Fuji's forehead before bidding him goodnight and making a move to leave. Fuji stayed on the porch until Tezuka's car had gone out of sight, then turned around to head inside.

.

* * *

'

When Fuji entered the house, he immediately saw Saeki grinning like a fool, waiting for him at the top of the stairs.

"Hey, look who's back. It's the guy who was making out on the porch," Saeki teased, trying to keep his voice down so as to not disturb Fuji's parents, who had already turned in for the night.

"You're such an ass," Fuji grumbled under his breath as he made his way up the stairs, but couldn't help smiling. "You were spying on us?"

"No way! Where's the fun in watching two dudes making out," Saeki protested. "But it's the only reasonable deduction when his car's been parked there for over 15 minutes, it's raining but there's an umbrella on the pathway. That much I could see from your window. Also, you had this happy blush on your face when you walked in. Dead giveaway."

"All right, Sherlock..." Fuji walked into his room, Saeki trailing in after him. He shrugged off his blazer and hung it up, then moved to plug his phone to its charger, before turning around to corner Saeki with sharp look, "Now, tell me what you said to him."

"Wha…? I said nothing! I swear I didn't tell him a thing about how you've been holding a torch for him for god knows how long," Saeki was quick to answer, getting into a slight fluster when he saw that glint in Fuji's eyes.

"Is that so? That's weird, because Tezuka voluntarily came clean about not seeing anyone. I wonder why…" Fuji muttered, closing in slowly like a predator, staring into his friend's shifty cobalt eyes.

"Ha..haha… weird, huh." Saeki shrugged his shoulders, chuckling awkwardly. Fuji was just a few inches away from him now, he knew he couldn't escape. "Maybe he wanted to find out if you were available, by giving up information first…?"

Fuji stared at Saeki for another moment before slumping over and resting his head on the taller man's shoulder. This caught Saeki by surprise, and his body went rigid, not knowing how to react.

"Whatever it is you said to him… thank you. You're the best, Kojirou."

Hearing Fuji's words, Saeki's expression softened into a wistful smile, and he brought a hand up to pat Fuji's head. "Liar. If I'm the best why'd you turn me down and go out with Tezuka instead."

"He was jealous of you, you know? He never once called me Syuusuke, but tonight he decided that he wanted to call me by my name, and wanted me to call him by his." Fuji chuckled softly, savouring the memory. That definitely went into the top three of his favourite Tezuka moments.

"I'm happy for you, Syuusuke," Saeki said softly, wrapping his arms around Fuji in a hug, "...but you're buying me pizza when we get back."

Fuji stilled at the meaning behind Saeki's words. Slipping his arms around his friend, he let Saeki stay that way for a few moments, not wishing to disturb the delicate atmosphere in the room.

"Can I still join you on pizza night?" Fuji asked when Saeki finally released his hold on him.

"Only if you bring beer. Ice cream's optional," Saeki replied with a smirk, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Oh, and also Yuuta's wife's cousin's number."

Fuji mentally filtered through the faces he had seen at Yuuta's wedding, grinning at Saeki slyly, "The one with the long hair in the pastel yellow satin dress tonight?"

"Bingo. You know me _so_ well."

"I'll try, but no promises."

"You're the best, Syuusuke."

They shared a look and broke out into harmonious laughter.

"Speaking of phone numbers…" Fuji muttered, retrieving his wallet to pull out Tezuka's business card, showing it to Saeki. "Can you believe it? Tezuka's an obstetrician and gynaecologist."

"So women strip in his office, _and_ he gets to go out with you? Damn, I should've studied harder."

Fuji chuckled and pat Saeki on the shoulder in mock consolation, "Aww, you don't have you feel inferior, you make a good cup of coffee, _and_ you can make latte art. That's sexy."

"I'm capable of much more than that, idiot," Saeki snorted, lightly flicking Fuji on the forehead.

Sitting down on his bed, Fuji reached for his phone and switched it on.

"I think I should sleep in Yuuta's room tonight," Saeki said as he watched Fuji fiddle with his phone trying to add Tezuka's details to his contact list.

"Kojirou, if this is about Tezuka, you're worrying too much. He's not going to hunt you down just because we slept in the same room."

"I'd be lying if I said this has nothing to do with Tezuka, but that's not the main issue. I just want to, okay?"

Fuji looked up at Saeki, slightly concerned, but gave him a calm smile nonetheless. "Okay. I won't treat you any differently just because Tezuka's back in the picture, you know that, right?"

"I know. And I believe that Tezuka's not such an unreasonable man. Although… I won't deny that I have a small desire to make him jealous again," Saeki grinned.

"I wouldn't mind if you did, he gets really fired up in bed when he's jealous," Fuji said with the sweetest, most innocent look on his face.

Saeki rolled his eyes and groaned. "That's it, I'm definitely sleeping in Yuuta's room. You can have all the phone sex you want, just keep it down, I'm right next door."

Fuji laughed as Saeki grabbed his belongings and retreated from his room to take shelter in the next room. He typed a quick message on his phone and sent it to Tezuka before heading to wash up.

 _[Kojirou suggests that we should have phone sex. What do you say, Kunimitsu?  
_ _P.S.: I'm going to take a shower now. ;)]_

Tezuka had replied by the time Fuji returned from his shower. Flopping on to his bed, Fuji opened the message, half-expecting a flat-out rejection.

 _[Didn't you say you needed time? How that escalated to phone sex, within the hour, is beyond me.  
_ _I'm going to bed. Sweet dreams, Syuusuke.  
_ _P.S.: You are absolutely not to discuss our sex life with Saeki Kojirou. Or anyone else.]_

Smiling to himself, Fuji set his phone aside and rolled over on to his side, reminding himself to text Yuuta in the morning to thank him for the good luck, and to ask for the number Saeki wanted. _Sweet dreams_? Considering how ridiculously happy he was right now, he wondered if he'd even get any sleep tonight.

.

end.

'

* * *

 _Happy end! Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the reviews, favs and follows! In case you were wondering, the hotel this whole arc took place in actually exists, and there's really a bar named Little Bear in it. :)_

 _I feel like there's a lot more I can explore with their occupational settings and whatnot, and I had fun playing with the Fuji-Saeki friendship, but I'm not sure where I'd want to take this to at the moment. Let me know what you think!_

 _In the meantime, I think I'll go back to writing smut. I admire people who can write romantic emotional sappy stuff and witty dialogue. I wish I could. Too much emo drama hurts my tiny brain XD_


	4. Dropping the Anchor

Chapter summary: It's Tezuka's birthday. Fuji has plans, but he's worried that he'll screw up somehow. [Written for Tezuka's birthday 2016.]

 **Note: A smut scene (1855 words) has been cut out to retain this fic's "T" rating. To read the complete chapter, please find _Dropping the Anchor_ on my Livejournal or AO3 accounts (links available on my profile page).**

* * *

.

 **Dropping the Anchor**

'

Buzz buzz. Buzz.

 _[ 1 new message from Tezuka Kunimitsu._

 _Reaching in 10. ]_

Fuji placed his phone on the kitchen counter and paced around the kitchen, ticking off his mental checklist for the hundredth time.

 _Rice, check. Salad, check. Miso soup, check. Dessert, check._

All he had left to do was to grill the Pacific saury, which he should get to in about three minutes. That way it would be perfectly cooked by the time Tezuka arrives.

It's Tezuka's thirtieth birthday tomorrow, the first important event they would spend together since they mended their estranged relationship three and a half months ago. They had made plans to go out for dinner, after which Fuji had intended to invite Tezuka home for coffee and homemade dessert. He had made a reservation at a restaurant that had a nice view of the sea, just fifteen minutes away from his cafe, but two hours before their planned meeting time, Tezuka texted him to say that an something had cropped up at the hospital.

Knowing that Tezuka wouldn't be on duty the next day, Fuji took a chance on inviting Tezuka over to his apartment directly instead. If dinner was at home, it didn't matter what time Tezuka came over since he would have the flexibility to prepare it accordingly. And the tart he had baked in the morning, an original recipe he had created specially with Tezuka's tastes in mind and spent two weeks perfecting, wouldn't go to waste.

Celebrating Tezuka's birthday was important, but the truth was that he simply wanted to see Tezuka. Although they were only living a prefecture apart, which wasn't really long-distance per se, their hectic work schedules made meeting up a heinous task. They had only managed to see each other twice since the day fate guided them back into each other's lives, and the last time they met was over a month ago.

But today… they would be able to spend time together until tomorrow evening. Tezuka was coming over to Chiba. Tezuka would be eating his cooking, and the tart he made. And after that, maybe they could watch a movie on his couch, or listen to some music and catch up on the years they've lost. And maybe, if the mood was right, maybe…

.

* * *

 _'_

 _Earlier that day…_

"Someone's early today," Saeki muttered with a lazy drawl as he strolled into the cafe's kitchen, a small yawn passing his lips as he secured his apron around his waist. "Oha."

"Ohayou," Fuji mumbled half-heartedly, his focus zoomed in on the numbers on the weighing scale as he meticulously added in calculated amounts of cream cheese, sugar, milk and matcha powder into the mixing bowl on the scale.

Saeki rested an arm on Fuji's shoulder as he peered into the bowl. The mixture didn't look like it was for anything that was on their menu. "Hmm. Today's the day?"

"Mmhmm…" Reaching for the whisk, Fuji gently shrugged Saeki off before starting to combine the ingredients in the bowl with trained flicks of his wrist.

Saeki did some light stretches in attempt to fully awaken his body for the day ahead, and moved to the dishwasher to retrieve the kitchenware they had put in to wash the night before.

"What's that cream for? Some kinda kinky play?" he asked teasingly as he brought the heavy tray to the counter next to Fuji so that he could sort the contents out and place them where they belonged.

Saeki nearly jumped as Fuji dropped the whisk into the stainless steel bowl with a loud clang. "What?! No!"

"Relax, pal. I was just kidding. Although, it's not like I would know what you guys do in the bedroom."

Fuji took in a deep breath and resumed whisking the contents in the bowl. He'd been a bunch of nerves since yesterday, he could barely even sleep. Like a kid on the night before a school trip. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... It's just… I'm feeling really nervous for some reason. I don't want to screw this up."

"That's unlike you. Tezuka's not going to dump you just because you screwed up a little, right?" Saeki said as he put away the coffee and tea sets, then gathered the things he needed to prepare their cafe's signature dessert.

"I know that, but it's not like I can help it. I have this feeling that something will go wrong." Fuji muttered with a sigh, pausing for a moment to look to his friend for support.

Saeki looked at the brunette with a raised eyebrow, the corner of his lips quirk into a grin. "What's making you so uneasy? Is it because it's his birthday? Because you're inviting him over? Because you're baking something you created without my sis's recipe? Or do you really have something kinky up your sleeves?"

Fuji glared daggers at Saeki, before closing his eyes as another heavy breath passed his lips. "All of that. Except the kinky stuff. Don't even mention kinky, we haven't even…," Fuji bit down on his words, a soft hue washing over his face. "Forget that."

"What? You haven't… no way." Saeki put down whatever he had in his hands, widened cobalt eyes staring at his best friend in disbelief. "Don't tell me you're waiting for the third date to get to third base. It's not as if you've never dated each other before."

"We just haven't had the luxury of time." The blush on Fuji's cheeks deepened. He turned back to his mixing bowl and gave the mixture a few more whisks before proceeding to pour it into the tart shell he had baked earlier. "Stop making it sound like it's a big deal. It's just sex, it's not the most important thing in the world."

"Are you kidding me? Makeup sex is not 'just sex'. It's the hottest type of sex there is."

Giving the baking pan a few light shakes to even out the thick matcha cream, Fuji then put the used mixing bowl and utensils away in the sink. "Why are you so concerned about whether Kunimitsu and I have had sex anyway? Could it be that you're interested in the details…?" Fuji asked in a seductive tone, gliding his hand across the taller man's shoulders and clasping Saeki firmly around the arm, tilting his head to glance up at his friend with a suggestive smile.

Saeki felt a shudder run up his spine and goosebumps forming on his skin. His hands gripped on to the edge of the counter as if it would provide some sort of support or defence against Fuji's advances. "I-I just find it unbelievable. You guys practically made out on the porch the night you got back together."

"For the record, we've only seen each other twice since then, and both times we only managed to have time for a meal."

"Well, you're inviting him home today. That's a guaranteed home run if you ask me. Just don't play hard to get."

"Oh shut up, Kojirou."

.

* * *

'

Snapping out of his thoughts, Fuji looked at the time and swiftly started the grill. He then made a final check around the apartment. The floor was spotless, every surface had been dusted, the cushions had been fluffed. He had even scrubbed the bath and toilet. Just as he was about to go back to the kitchen to check on the fish, the doorbell rang. He looked at the video intercom and felt a small flutter in his stomach as he reached for the door.

"It's not been ten minutes yet," he muttered as he held the door open so that his guest could enter.

"To be honest, I had already parked my car when I sent that."

"Since when have you become such a good liar?" Fuji teased with a soft chuckle, setting out a pair of guest slippers for Tezuka.

Toeing off his shoes, Tezuka stepped into the pair of fuzzy brown room slippers and followed Fuji down the short corridor and into the living room.

"Welcome to my humble abode. Make yourself at home, dinner will be served shortly. If you'd like to wash up, the washroom is back down that corridor, on the right," Fuji said with a prim smile and precise hand gestures, like a flight attendant giving safety instructions.

He observed Tezuka with anticipation, waiting for a faint smile, or at least a quirk of an eyebrow, but was caught off guard when Tezuka moved forward to envelope him in an embrace instead.

"...is everything okay?"

"Just for a bit…"

Fuji felt a warmth spreading through his body as Tezuka hugged him tight against his broad chest, not saying a thing, simply holding him. He could hear Tezuka's heartbeat, steady and strong, and for some reason that made his own heartbeat quicken a little.

"I missed you too," he mumbled inaudibly into Tezuka's chest. It had been a long month, being so near yet so far away, especially since he had been planning and preparing for Tezuka's birthday. He had been looking forward to this.

He felt Tezuka's hand on the back of his head, and looked up at the taller man.

"Did you say something, Syuusuke?"

The soft beeping of the kitchen timer interrupted their little moment of reunion, though Fuji didn't quite mind the timely intrusion.

Fuji shook his head lightly and smiled, standing on his toes to steal a quick kiss, "I need to turn off the grill."

"Let me help."

"Not allowed. You're a guest. Go wash your hands and make yourself comfortable, dinner will be ready in a minute."

Fuji strode quickly around the compact bar that served as partition between the open kitchen and the living room, and reached for the knob on the grill. Humming quietly to himself, he worked efficiently around the small kitchen.

When Tezuka returned from the washroom, the coffee table was already populated with a couple of dishes.

"Sorry I don't have a dining table. I used the space for a bar counter instead."

"I don't mind. This looks and smells good. Do you cook often?"

"I do when I can. Just simple stuff though," Fuji said with a smile as he pulled out two _zabuton_ from under the sofa and gestured for Tezuka to take a seat. He then went back to the bar counter to retrieve the remaining two bowls of steamed multi-grain rice, two pairs of chopsticks, and came back to the coffee table, settling down beside Tezuka.

The bespectacled man admired the modest spread before him. There was miso soup with daikon radish, a salad with tofu, tomatoes, greens, edamame beans and dried sakura shrimp, a small dish of sweet vinegar pickled shredded carrots and onions with raisins, and of course, the perfectly grilled fish, served with grated daikon radish and a wedge of lemon on the side. It wasn't anything fancy, but this definitely wasn't his idea of 'simple'. It was nutritionally balanced and visually attractive, and easily the most appetizing meal he'd had in weeks.

With their quiet murmurs of " _Itadakimasu_ ", they started with their meal, Fuji reaching for his salad first while Tezuka chose to begin with a taste of the miso soup.

Tezuka felt the day's exhaustion melt away as the warm soup seeped into his body and soul; savouring the aromatic waft from the katsuo and konbu broth rushing through his nostrils as the rich flavour of the miso filled his mouth, and the sweetness of the daikon lingering on his palate even after he had swallowed. Moments like this always reminded him of how deeply rooted he was despite having spent almost a decade overseas.

"I'm sorry you had to cancel the reservation, but I'm glad this happened instead," he said, a small smile playing on his lips, and took a second sip from the bowl.

Fuji chuckled. "Say that after you've had everything." Putting his salad bowl down, he picked up his bowl of miso soup and took a sip as well. He stole a glance at the man beside him, and felt a warm, happy tingle swell within him.

.

* * *

'

After dinner, they rested their satisfied bellies over some variety programs on TV, before Fuji served dessert. As if time had flowed according to their pace, the clock turned twelve just as Fuji carefully placed the matcha tart he had made on the coffee table.

"Would you like that with coffee or tea, or white wine?" Fuji asked as he returned to the kitchen.

Tezuka looked at the green creamy tart presented before him, which reminded him of Fuji's taste for wasabi and briefly wondered if there was any in it. "May I have tea, please."

"Of course you may. The birthday boy can have anything he wants," Fuji answered with a smile as he retrieved two tea cups and a small glass teapot from the cabinet.

Fuji returned to the coffee table with a tray in his hands. Setting the tray down, he proceeded to skilfully cut and serve the tart, not forgetting to place a candle on Tezuka's slice. He lit the candle, and held the plate up, looking to Tezuka with a nervous smile. "Happy thirtieth, Kunimitsu."

Tezuka blew out the candle and lowered the plate on to the table, then leaned forward to steal a chaste kiss from his lover's lips. A smile formed on his own lips when he pulled back and saw the faint blush that had crept into Fuji's cheeks. He extended his left hand to gently cup Fuji's face, nuzzling his cheek with his thumb.

"Is something wrong? You look nervous."

Fuji's dropped his gaze to the tart. "I made that… from scratch. I hope you like it."

"You made this?" Tezuka couldn't help but ask as he took a closer look at the tart. Sitting neatly in the tart shell was a dark green layer of cream, followed by a thin layer of what looked like caramelized sliced almonds, and on top of that was another layer of cream in a lighter shade of green, with a finishing touch of icing sugar and glazed citrus peel. It looked like something store-bought.

What Fuji had made for dinner had already exceeded his expectations of a home-cooked meal, it didn't occur to him that Fuji could bake too.

"We make our own sweets at the cafe, but Kojirou's sister, who is a patissier, comes up with the recipes and teaches us how to make them. This is the first time I've made something without her help, and no one besides myself has tasted it, so…"

Without a second thought, Tezuka picked up a dessert fork.

Fuji diverted his attention to pouring tea, trying not to watch as Tezuka took a bite of his very first creation.

"It's delicious."

"Really?" Fuji's head snapped up, widened azure eyes staring at Tezuka intently.

Tezuka took another mouthful of the sweet treat and nodded, savouring the delicate flavours and textures. There was a perfect balance between the bitterness of the matcha, the mild savoury hint from the smooth lower layer, the sweet crunch of the caramelized almonds, and the light, fluffy semi-sweet mousse on top. The fruity aroma of the glazed citrus peel intertwined with the fragrance of the matcha left a sophisticated, fresh aftertaste.

"Are you going to serve this at your cafe?"

A warm smile stretched across Fuji's face as he looked at Tezuka, feeling a sense of relief wash over him. "No, it's exclusively for you."

"You should have some, I can't finish this by myself."

"I shall," Fuji beamed, setting down a cup of tea in front of Tezuka, "This is bergamot and jasmine green tea. It should go well with the tart."

Tezuka took a sip from the cup, and was surprised by the aromatic harmony said tea had catalyzed. The warm earthy flavours blended seamlessly without shadowing the burst of sweet, citrusy zest, while the elegant scent of the jasmine blossomed and lingered.

He looked at Fuji and saw the same gleam of delight and pride in those bright blue eyes that he remembered seeing whenever Fuji displayed a newly perfected counter. The beautiful genius that he once knew had evolved into a stronger being, and was now showing him the new set of skills he had acquired in his absence.

Fuji could feel the fine hairs on the back of his neck rising as Tezuka's adoring gaze practically burned into his skin. He cut a slice of the tart for himself, and they enjoyed the bitter-sweet dessert in comfortable silence. After they were done, Fuji brought the dishes to the kitchen and came back to his spot adjacent to where Tezuka was seated, but Tezuka was still staring at him. Clearing his palate with a drink of tea, Fuji looked up to meet Tezuka's gaze.

Tezuka's heart skipped when cerulean eyes peered at him through honey brown bangs, but then Fuji broke out into a fit of suppressed laughter.

"Syuusuke…?"

"You have cream…," Fuji muttered between soft chuckles, reaching over to wipe away the smudge of mousse at the corner of Tezuka's lips with his fingers, "...here."

Fuji had the intention to lick the mousse off his fingers, but his silvery laughter died down when Tezuka caught his wrist. Azure eyes widened in surprise as Tezuka leaned forward and licked the cream off with the tip of his tongue, then sucked on his fingers lightly.

Holding Fuji's gaze, Tezuka extended his other hand to reach for Fuji's free hand. "Come here," he said softly as he gently tugged Fuji into his lap.

He caressed Fuji's face, and tucked the longer pieces of hair framing Fuji's face behind Fuji's ears. Tezuka then sat up to close the distance between them, claiming Fuji's lips in a slow, tender kiss. "Thank you for the wonderful evening."

"It's not over yet," Fuji whispered, gazing into deep hazel eyes as he maneuvered his body to straddle Tezuka's thighs, his hands cradling the other's handsome face. "Stay?"

Tezuka leaned back against the sofa, and felt Fuji's weight shift together with his movements. He rested his hands on Fuji's hips, feeling a strong desire igniting within him. "Are you sure? I have you in my lap now… we both know what's going to happen if I stay. If you need more time…"

Fuji smiled and tilted Tezuka's head back so that he could kiss him, playfully nibbling on his lower lip. "Did you honestly think I was going to ask you drive all the way to Chiba for dinner, and then let you drive back to Tokyo at this time of the night?" Fuji asked with a muffled chuckle and another kiss to Tezuka's lips. "I wouldn't have invited you over if I wasn't sure."

"You said that the birthday boy can have anything he wants. I want to have you," the bespectacled man mumbled against Fuji's lips, then trailed kisses down Fuji's slender neck, licking and nipping at the smooth skin. He pulled the other's hips down against his own, and felt Fuji's fingers gripping onto his shoulders. Placing his right hand over Fuji's chest, Tezuka looked up at his lover, feeling Fuji's heart thump against his palm at a hastened pace, noticing the delicate hue that had stained Fuji's cheeks.

"Syuusuke."

A shiver ran through Fuji's body. It had been such a long time, Fuji had forgotten what it felt like to be under that gaze. Tezuka was looking at him with such intense passion and desire in his eyes, Fuji found it hard to breathe. It felt strange; he was aware of the flow of things, yet a part of him was struggling to keep up, but at the same time, his body seemed to remember, and was responding to Tezuka as if in reflex.

Reaching a hand behind his head, Fuji tugged on the elastic band that held his hair together, pulling it off and letting the honey brown silken strands spill over his shoulders. Allowing his bodily instincts to take lead, Fuji pressed his weight down on Tezuka, grinding his hips and kissing his lover with lips, tongue and teeth, a soft mewl echoing into Tezuka's mouth. His heart raced when Tezuka responded with a quiet grunt, long fingers threading into his hair and pulling him closer, crushing their lips together messily.

"Take me to the room," Fuji whispered breathily in between kisses, already starting to feel a little light-headed, "...make me yours once more."

.

* * *

'

 _(This section has been removed due to rating issues.)_

.

* * *

'

Tezuka took a sip of his coffee and a deep breath.

He had only had a couple hours of sleep, but his rigorously tuned body clock had dragged him out of slumber at daybreak. He had taken a few minutes to observe his lover's sleeping face, then quietly rolled out of bed to take a shower to freshen up. He stole another glance at his still snoozing lover, dropping a light kiss on the head of silken brown hair, before seeking for his morning dose of caffeine.

Mug of coffee in hand, Tezuka silently padded around the apartment, taking his time to observe the objects that gave away minute details of Fuji's life. The well-used kitchen, lived-in living room, and the study room, which he didn't get the chance to see last night. The study reminded him of Fuji's old room, cosily decorated with photos, his collection of cacti, books... and Fuji's desk, which was never empty, but was what Fuji called an organised mess.

It was about an hour later that Fuji awoke to a ray of sunlight in his eyes. He rolled over with a soft grunt of annoyance, only to find that the other side of the bed was empty. He drowsily got out of bed in search of Tezuka, finding him in his home office, dressed in the white tee shirt and black boxer briefs he had prepared, scrutinizing one of the photos he had framed up on the wall.

"Ohayou."

Hearing the voice, Tezuka whipped his head to the side to see Fuji leaning against the door frame, sleepy eyed, long tresses slightly ruffled from sleep, the white collared shirt that miraculously survived their fornication was on the verge of slipping from Fuji's smooth shoulders, completely unbuttoned and not offering a single thread of modesty. Tezuka's throat went dry, images of Fuji writhing under his body, head thrown back and hair fanned out over the pillow last night replaying in his head.

He walked over and sandwiched Fuji between the door frame and his body, craning his neck to join their lips together in a lazy but intimate kiss.

"Ohayou…" he whispered, admiring the delicate shade of pink that warmed up Fuji's face, the other's soft lips glossy from the kiss they just shared. His hands moved to button up Fuji's shirt halfway, for the sake of Fuji's modesty and his own sanity. "I used your shower and your coffee machine, and took a little tour around the apartment. I hope you don't mind."

Fuji shook his head lightly, running his hand up Tezuka's side, "I'm glad the clothes fit."

"I saw Francesca. She seems to have gotten a little bigger...?"

"She has," Fuji said with a soft chuckle, taking a quick glance at his prized collection of cacti on the window sill.

"And that photo of the Diamond Fuji…"

"It's the one we saw together. It's my favourite photo."

"I always looked at it whenever I felt homesick. I still have mine, in my room."

"Kunimitsu…" Fuji slid his palm up against Tezuka's cheek, staring into his lover's warm hazel eyes, wondering if he could have survived if he had been the one living overseas, alone. Thoughts and memories of the past twelve years ran through his mind, and his heart clenched. "There's something I want you to have."

Retrieving a brown cardboard box from the bottommost shelf beside his work desk, Fuji lightly dusted it off, before handing it to Tezuka with a solemn look on his face.

Tezuka took the box. It was about the size of the shoe box, and it wasn't too heavy. It didn't look like a birthday present, especially not with the expression Fuji was wearing now.

"May I open it?"

Fuji nodded, "Promise me you won't read the contents until you get home."

That piqued Tezuka's curiosity even more, but it wasn't a difficult promise to make. He nodded in agreement, and carefully opened the box, placing the cover on the desk.

The box was filled with envelopes and postcards. He took the first one out of the box, immediately recognizing it. It was the very first postcard he had sent to Fuji, twelve years ago, after he had settled down in his dorm room in London. Behind it was an envelope addressed to him, and behind that envelope was another postcard he remembered. The first New Year's card he had mailed that same year. And behind that New Year's card, there was another envelope with his name written in Fuji's neat handwriting. He ran his fingers through the cards and envelopes quickly, picking up on the chronological pattern. For every postcard he sent, there was at least one envelope lined up behind it. At some intervals there were three or four in between. And towards the end of the stack, there were no more postcards, only envelopes and more envelopes, some containing cards, some containing letters.

Tezuka looked at Fuji, his heart hammering loudly in his chest. When Fuji refused to look at him, he placed the box down on the desk and took Fuji's hands into his own, squeezing the slender hands as his emotions threatened to overflow.

"I could never muster the courage to send them. I know you were waiting for a reply, but I… I'm sorry. I'm such a coward."

To Fuji, sending the letters would have been admitting to his longing for Tezuka, his dependence on Tezuka's existence, and his inability to let go. He couldn't bring himself to do so, but Tezuka had been such an irreplaceable presence in his life, writing to Tezuka had ironically been his only escape and solace.

Tezuka wound his arms tightly around Fuji, holding him with all the strength he had.

' _I don't think I can handle losing you a second time.'_

' _Make me yours once more.'_

' _It's been so long.'_

' _I don't want to wait any longer.'_

Francesca, the Diamond Fuji, the box of letters, the bag of things… at that moment, the all pieces came together.

"I'm so sorry, Syuusuke… I said that I would always treasure you, but I never realised that all my intentions had brought you pain instead," Tezuka muttered into Fuji's hair, feeling a potent combination of guilt, regret, pain and inadequacy hit him like brick wall. He never felt like crying more. For so many years, he had thought that Fuji had moved on and didn't need him anymore, but Fuji had been waiting all this time. "I'm sorry…"

Fuji shook his head, nuzzling his face into Tezuka's chest, "I must have hurt you too. I'm sorry, Kunimitsu."

"I'm thankful we had a second chance." Tezuka pressed a gentle kiss to Fuji's forehead, then his nose, and finally his lips.

Fuji gazed up at Tezuka with a soft smile. "There's one more thing I have for you."

Tezuka loosened his hold on the smaller man, and Fuji turned to pull another envelope out of the drawer in his work desk. Tezuka's name was written in the same neat handwriting as on all the other envelopes in the box.

"This year's, to add to the box. You can read this one now if you want to."

Tezuka took the envelope from Fuji's hands and hesitated for a moment, before deciding to open it. Inside the ivory envelope was a card with an old photo of them printed on the front. It was taken at a park, both of them were wearing their Seigaku uniforms, looking somewhat awkward. They hadn't even started dating then, he had yet to realise his feelings for his friend and teammate, but it was one of those spur-of-the-moment things that Fuji did and he allowed.

Tezuka stole a quick look at Fuji, then opened the card.

 _Dear Kunimitsu,_

 _Happy birthday._

 _I love you._

 _~Syuusuke_

 _._

end.

'

* * *

 _Zabuton_ \- A Japanese cushion generally used when sitting on the floor.

.

 _Umm... I can't bake, so that matcha cream cheese tart Fuji made is completely imaginary. ^^;_

 _If you haven't read the previous installments, this pair has a bit of a complicated past and they have some emotional baggage. So this is them ironing out the things they've never told each other, and getting to know each other as grown-ups. I'm very tempted to write Tezuka's side of the 12-year blank, but it'll probably be more complicated than Fuji's one-sided pining, so I'll leave that for another installment, another time._

 _Thank you for reading! :)_


End file.
